About that time I almost killed myself 4 times on a bike ride….
1. I was flying down the path enjoying the rush of the wind in my face and then it happened…a squirrel tried to commit suicide by darting almost right under my front tire. I braked so hard that I almost went over the handle bars.
2. After recovering from the the near miss of the squirrel, I encounter a girl further down the trail. She was so engrossed in texting that she didn’t notice me on my side of the path. I was going slow to enjoy the scenery and yet she still waited until right when I was almost beside her and stepped right in front of me. Yes, she was facing me but never looked up. I swerved off the path immediately and slid in a pile of wet leaves and yet somehow managed to stay on my bike. I am beyond impressed at myself to be honest.
3. Right after my near death experience of leaf sliding, I round the corner still moving pretty slow. I think I’m in shock at this point. The next thing I know a city employee steps out of nowhere and starts up a leaf blower and completely plasters me with leaves and debris. First, I am grateful that I always wear wrap around glasses when biking for eye protection because I can’t see shit and I’m sure some of those sticks that bounced off my face and helmet would have hurt had they had the opportunity to impale my eyes. Next, I’m swerving and gagging in the mist of the chaos trying to see to keep on the trail. I congratulate myself because at this point I feel like a superhero or something.
4. I decide to extend my ride a little longer so I can bask in mother nature being such a show off with all the beautiful leaves floating to the ground. I round another corner and was amazed to find Jesus or rather his doppelganger flat on his back lying across the path. At first I think he is dead, but upon riding closer in I see that he is either meditating or resting between stretches. Right in the middle of the path. Who does this and why do they think it is a safe choice is beyond me. Luckily I am riding slow and just decide to mosey around him and gingerly go off path. I slide in mud….again. Just as I think I’m really going to fall this time, my front wheel hits the trail again and I just fishtail a little as I am back on the path saved from my last near death experience of the day. Thank you "Jesus.”
